12 Amazing New Year Resolution

Alia Bhatt Mind you, I may have Bhatt in my name, but I never talk bhaat! So what I got the name of our President wrong? I don't like the way they taunted me for months after my mistake. Do they think I'm dumb, or what? Have they even seen the pile of GK books I've read over the past few months? But there's something I want me know... I heard that after my on-air faux pas about the president, they were ridiculing me on the internet through memes. Well is that the plural of me? Tiger Shroff No, I'm not Richard Parker! I didn't debut in a circus or on Animal Planet. I'm not an endangered species -really, aren't there enough cubs, I mean, star kids to pick on? And I'm proud of comparisons with Kareena Kapoor Khan. But let me tell you, 2015 won't be all growl and no bite. I plan to work with the big tigers...err, sharks of B'wood. I mean if they can use my name in their film's title, they can use me too! Maybe then people will stop saying, "Ek tha tiger!" Srijit Mukherji Don't listen to those rumour-mongers, who call me a Casanova. The only time I look at women is through my camera lens, darkly. Ok fine, I do have 11 women in my current project, but one of them is underage and the other is superannuated! That's not to say I'm eyeing the other nine though. In fact, my New Year resolution is that I will make a bromance film this year.The cast? Well, Srijit Mukherji only works with the best. Who else but Dev and Jeet? Anushka Sharma Oh please please tell me, how do you rate my smile? Because I just got it custom-made! The guy who did the lipjob used to work for Disney before and told me that he was a huge fan of Donald Duck. When I finally saw myself in the mirror, what did I see? A smirk, smile, grin, grimace? Hell, I can't make out! Now that my lips are just purrfect, I've got big plans for 2015. Eyes like Popeye, nose like The Hulk, ears like Spock.Don't you like the idea? Miley Cyrus Let's admit it, I taught the world how to twerk years back -in 2013! Of course I had to do something equally -whazzat word? Ludacris? Onno, that's the rapper! -"ludicrous", in 2014! So I blew my `top', literally, and championed the #FreeTheNipple movement. Did I say that loud? Well, what I meant was, I'm all for de-sexualizing the nipple. Maybe, in 2015, I'll embrace toplessness completely. Or worse, I'll turn up covered from head to toe at public interactions. You don't want to risk that! Kim Kardashian I've already announced that I want a flat butt. That's my resolution for 2015. And yes, I also want to keep helping the needy. Remember I donated most of my clothes to a charity in August? Yeah, I think I'll break the record now for the biggest... donations! Even better, I'll donate what I wore for #BreakTheInternet. I didn't wear anything? Then I guess I'll just spread joy by posting more duckfaces.Yay, resolution selfie! Virat Kohli They're calling me `The Brat'. And I like it, actually! After all, my present form -and the fact that I've been made permanent Test captain -means that I've arrived. Also, for arm candy I carry around a certain Anushka Sharma (she of the duck-billed lips). But maybe its the heat she generates, I'm constantly feeling hot hot hot! They're bouncing me? Go at 'em! Media's snooping around? Give them a piece of my mind! This year I plan to do meditation and have a lot of lassi to keep me cool. Anjan Dutt Boy, do I love December! Winter's here, Nahoum is baking cakes, there are lights on Park Street -and I have finally delivered a hit! After boring everyone with films like Dutta vs Dutta and Sesh Bole Kichu Nei, I've realized that Byomkesh is my biggest piggy bank. So this year I'll not only make more Byomkesh films, I've also decided to buy the rights of Kiriti, Parashar Barma, Jayanta-Manik and any other Bong goyenda worth his salt. Luis Suarez The name's Suarez -Luis Alberto Suarez Diaz. And I don't bite. Okay, let me rephrase that statement -I `won't' bite... in 2015... come who may! I won't confuse Giorgio Chiellini with some cheesy Italian dish. In fact, I believe Chiellini got more `strikes' on his bedpost than the field, after our `encounter'! But let me assure you, I absolutely did not bite into the world's most famous Apple! Also, I won't be the `Bane' of your existence -so, stop trolling me with that supervillain's mask! Bite that, now! Abir Chatterjee The last straw was when my domestic help, who couldn't find a spoon, arched an eyebrow and said, "Dada! You are such a big detective. Can't you figure out where the spoon is?" Aaaaargh! Now I'm even getting nightmares where I'm hunting for clues and solving murder mysteries. Even my two-year-old daughter says `Feluda' in her baby voice when I take her in my lap. Forget Byomkesh, this year I don't want to play Feluda, Derrida, Neruda -or anyone else with `da' in his name! Rituparna Sengupta Everyone knows I simply love red lipstick! Psst... the worst part is, I can't remember the colour of my lips. So last night I finally decided to reclaim my lips.But it was a horrex show! As I rubbed 'em puckers with damp cotton, more and more layers emerged. Maroon, crimson, burgundy, vermilion -each layer for an older date on the calendar. It was like an archaeological dig! I got tired after rubbing off till August. So, no more red lipstick for me this year. Sajid Khan Heyy Babyy I know that Dumbshakals, I mean Humshakals, didn't click with the audience. Hum pagal nahin hai bhaiya! But I've realized that only someone as himmatwala as me could have made that film. So my resolution is to come up with another 'housefull' venture. And just like I had promised during Himmatwala, I'm positive that the first three days people won't get the tickets! What? No, I won't beg my friends to visit the theatres to pull the masses. I can never make a flop film, remember? Mind it!

Murtaza Rangwala

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