18 Ways To Troll Someone Turning 40

18 Ways To Troll Someone Turning 40 1 Lastly, bake a cake that will help them mourn the loss of their youth. “You’re only young once, Aaron. Yup. Just once. There’s no getting that back.” 2 Present a gift that spells out exactly what they’re older than. 3 Announce that you’re relieved they’ll never have a midlife crisis. When they ask what you mean, you can say, “The average life expectancy in the U.S. is 78.7 years, so you’re already past midlife!” 4 If it’s a woman, give her something that will help her battle menopause. 5 If the new 40-year-old is a man, give him a lifetime supply of “Viagra.” The bottle was made out of a pickle jar and filled with blue-colored lima beans. 6 Say, “Forty, huh? If this were the 1700s you’d already be dead.” 7 Give them an “over the hill” walker. 8 Make them an adult diaper cake. 9 If they love sports, you can say, “Did you realize you’re now older than every player on the World Champion Boston Red Sox?” 10 Or a mug that breaks down what kind of life they can expect from here on out. 11 Give them this mug. 12 Help them battle the incontinence they’re sure to experience now that they’re of advanced age. 13 Order them a subscription to AARP. 14 Throw an arm over their shoulder and say, “If you had a kid at 20, and then that kid had a baby at 20, you’d be a grandparent!” 15 Gift them this “comprehensive” guide to sex after 40. 16 Mention that babies born after they graduated from college are now in college themselves. 17 Give them a brutally honest “Life begins at 40” card. 18 Give them an “Over 40 Starter Kit.” Fill it with everything they’ll need in their twilight years, like Centrum, laxatives, urine guards, and Icy Hot.

15 Gift them this “comprehensive” guide to sex after 40.

Murtaza Rangwala

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