15 Things You Should Never Say To A Salman Khan Fan

Salman Khan isn’t just an actor. Even Bollywood superstars themselves admit, he’s a phenomenon, both on and off screen. When he walks in, even statues turn their heads around and go ‘Bhai!!’. And is it any wonder then that such a mega star has an army of fans who sees him more like a family member than a Bollywood actor. Here are some things you should never say to a Bhai fan with possible reaction from all the Salluholics: 1.Bhai is always shirtless. 2. “Is it true he wears a wig?” “Is it true your brain is smaller than a pea? 3. “Why can’t he find a girl who will stay with him?” “Why exactly are you so interested in his love life? Go register yourself on Tinder and leave Salman alone.” 4. “How can you worship a person whose name has been tainted by so many controversies?” “Because you airbag, being Sallu bhai’s bhai means sticking with him through hell and high water!” 5. “He’s just a thug, always getting into fights.” “Listen, go read about his charity work before you get into a fight with me!” 6. “All the other actors have reinvented themselves. Salman is still doing the same old routine.” “If by ‘doing the same old routine’ you mean he’s breaking box office records again and again yeah you’re right.” 7. “I don’t understand why he has to put Sohail and Arbaaz in every other movie that he does.” “That is Salman Bhai’s greatness. He never ever forgets his family.” 8. “He’s become too old for all this macho bullshit. Seriously.” “He could play your nephew in the next Dabangg movie and he will still look convincing. That’s how good he is.” 9. “Isn’t he tired of dating all these actresses and models?” “Ha!ha!ha! Please! Stop! Ha!Ha!” 10. “Nobody even buys those ‘being human’ t-shirts.” “At least, it’s better than the original hundred rupee ‘addibas’ t-shirt you’re wearing.” 11. “Why does he dance like a 10 year old?” “It’s called being charismatic and magnetic. That’s why every Sallu bhai dance movie is a rage.” 12. “SRK has class yaar. Look at Salman going around hosting Big Boss and crap like that.” “Ha. Really? Should I remind you why nobody called SRK back to host KBC? 13. “Dude, why does he keep playing the same cop role in every single movie?” “Well, he’s not a cop in Kick!” “Actually, he becomes one at the end.” “Go away!” 14. “When is Salman Khan getting married?” “Oh, I didn’t know you became part of the Shaadi.com staff.” 15. “What exactly happened with Vivek Ob…” “Don’t!” “But I just…” “DO NOT GO THERE!”

15. “What exactly happened with Vivek Ob…”

Murtaza Rangwala

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